Highbrow Fart Joke

mirrorstone:

kayla-bird:

“She cried, “Laura,” up the garden,
“Did you miss me?
Come and kiss me.
Never mind my bruises,
Hug me, kiss me, suck my juices
Squeez’d from goblin fruits for you,
Goblin pulp and goblin dew.
Eat me, drink me, love me;
Laura, make much of me;
For your sake I have braved the glen
And had to do with goblin merchant men.”
-from Goblin Market by Christina Rosetti

Irrepressible Lily O’Shaughnessy may have spent the majority of her childhood in bed with tuberculosis- but now that she’s well enough to get up and walk around from time to time, she’s determined to do twice as much living as anyone else.
To that end, she runs away from home and enrolls in a music conservatory in glittering, jazzy, wild New York, where she makes fantastic new friends.
But everyone seems to have secrets at the River School.
Tommie, a full-figured alto, has an incredible talent for terrible puns- but clams up whenever she’s asked about her childhood.
Sardonic pianist Jo seems to have had an idyllic life- but her moneyed Southern family is falling apart, and the absurd last will of a cruel grandfather puts her carefully planned-out future in jeopardy.
And then there’s Laura.
Impossibly talented, luminously beautiful, Laura is the gentlest, kindest person Lily’s ever met.
But an incomprehensible sadness lurks behind her eyes, a strange longing for the many joys of life she’ll never taste…
As the distance between Laura and Lily closes, a strange new desire arises in them both- the desire for love!
And when the horrors of Laura’s sordid past rise up at last to claim her and drag her down, only Lily can save her from her tortured self.

A novel of twilight affection and courageous love… a fascinating reimagining of Christina Rosetti’s Goblin Market…A lesbian pulp novel with a happy ending!
Jazz! Poodles! An asexual woman in a queerplatonic relationship! Girls being friends! All in the book you never knew your heart needed… MAKE MUCH OF ME BY KAYLA BASHE

Now available for pre-order in the Kindle store!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P4E7YX8

So I got an advanced copy of this book, and now I’m hyped and here’s why you should be too. Make Much of Me has the distinctive hallmarks of Bashe’s work: a diverse cast, a lyrical turn of phrase, a strong focus on female friendship, and the belief that one individual, with kindness and determination, can change the lives of those around her for the better. Her past novels have ranged on diverse topics, but Make Much of Me, a novel inspired by the poem “Goblin Market” and set in the Jazz Age, reminds me strongly of the first novel I read by her, Bluebell Hall, with a similar sort of nostalgic, schoolgirl feel (an impressive feat since I have never actually gone to boarding school to be nostalgic over.) It centers around Lily, an exuberantly cheerful child of wealth who’s determined to live life to the fullest, and Laura, a quiet, mysterious, heart-breakingly beautiful young woman on the run from a dark past, as they attend a school of performing arts in New York City. Lily, typical of Bashe’s heroines, is not an effortlessly skilled genius, but a hard-worker and full of heart, pursuing what she loves and doing her best to make those around her happy (and I really enjoy that Bashe frequently uses her heroines to showcase the value of different kinds of intelligence and skills, without devaluing natural talent or an academically inclined intellect.) But, evocative of the poem it takes inspiration from, Laura is caught up in the sinister thrall of an addictive intoxicant, and the darker influence of the one who first offered it. Can Lily, and her tightly-knit group of friends, rescue her? Spoiler alert, of course they can, and then they’re going to kiss. Make Much of Me emphasizes the importance of a kind heart, a willingness to take responsibility for what’s wrong whether or not you caused it, and listening to what others want instead of assuming it’s the same as what you want. Bashe’s novels, though they may deal with dark themes, retain that upbeat and optimistic worldview, and always offer a happy ending that makes them a pleasure to read. They’re also pretty reasonably priced, like a small starbucks coffee price, so consider pre-ordering if you like:

• A colorful, well-rounded cast of characters with plenty of moxie teaming up to take down whatever stands in their way.
• A diverse cast, with two lesbian heroines, an aromantic asexual, and a bisexual main character (Ace representation always warms my cold, shriveled heart. I’m secretly hoping for an asexual romance to take the spotlight one of these novels. Psst, Kayla…)
• Jazz clubs, feathered headbands, the Charleston, and all the fun parts of the roaring twenties.
• Descriptions of delicious pastries.
• Strong feminist themes, including positive depictions of sex workers, a refusal to play to girl hate stereotypes, and a complete refutation of victim blaming.
• Boarding school stories with a focus on music and theater.
• Dogs with ridiculously long names.
• It’s really sweet!?!
• They kiss at the end.
• They kiss at the end.

gemfyre:

ryanhaywood-fever:

[Bucky Barnes sighs loudly in the distance]

#’put them back steve god can’t you see those talons—’#’too late i named them’#’what the FUCK no put them back RIGHT NOW JESUS DON’T FEED THEM FROM YOUR MOUTH’#’i named them sarah and winifred after our mothers’#’no steve NO’#’look winnie likes you already’#’steve please’#’here can you hold them i’m going to go cut up some more salmon’#’steve really i’m not gonna—oh shit—jesus they’re prickly OW OW STEVE COME BACK’#’just a minute! do you think they’d eat trout too’#steve rogers#bucky barnes

dailykos:

98 years ago today, Walter Cronkite was born.